I wonder what to do to keep my heart. What to do to curb a crack. Make no room, perchance a scratch. Emotional investment, returns a loss. I need not sing the “Lonely” song.

How far is too far with the heart? At what point calls a back-up, reverse and turn-tail? How to trust a mere man enough to hand this heart? Must I even? A measure given per a measure received? Give more? To what profit? Perhaps hold back, thus, not disadvantaged?

Too many questions? Yet a lifelong reality I must protect. After all, little less given, little less lost. For history has testified man’s expertise as an unreliable custodian of even a speck of dust. In God alone we can trust. Must I indulge in the foolishness of repeating grim history? Many greats have fallen for such unequal treaties.

But, I may miss out if I never give the full measure. How will I know how far I can throw if I swing not with the fullness of strength? How will I know the depths of the waters if I do not dive? How will I know the expanse of the galaxies if I do not fly? Ball in hand. Safe at shore. Knowing one atmosphere.

I may never know because I quake to hand over my all. The risk is great. The wound is deep. The fall is fatal. But a combination of it all is the lack luster pallor of safety and self preservation. No step of faith, no leap into grace.

The greatest risk, is never knowing possible greatness.

A great loss is possible but also a greater win.

Circles in sight. Turning wheels. Ticking clocks. The forward chime. Time may not be mine.

Have I an answer? A great wish is that.

Yet here I sit and still wondering. Why should I invest my heart?

I wrote this at a confusing period in my life where I tipped the concept of a romantic relationship out the cup of my mind. I have a different story now. Epiphany you might say. Here it goes.

I see not as yet why to invest my heart. For in man no heart is safe at last. His tendency to fail is his unconscious ailment. To place such high demand will yield no supply.

Perhaps my heart belongs elsewhere. The safest account. A trusted manager. His name is Christ. In Him I trust. With Him an investment yields a definite return.

Over and beyond the best expectations. A heart goes in, love comes out. Perfection from heaven. Not a doubt. Enough for me and everyone without.

So I seek not man to invest this heart. I seek man rather to spend the profits of my love. I place no high expectations on any flesh. I rather rely on the place divine.

Thus, disquieted the tables have turned. My question now, have I invested this heart? For where and why my question answered. But whether executed I stand to defend.

The profit of love from my heart’s investment. Freely received for free giving.

What matters then is whom this profit spend? The man deserving or one of naught? One which must receive, this I merit. Christ did lead my love I wholeheartedly accept. My fears begone, no more forlorn. By the horns, brave new world! Here I come.

Failure. Disappointment. Out of the one I may see. Without surprise, I take in stride. My profit be over, exceeding, abundant, beyond the multiple expected debit.

Clarity in sight. Turning wheels. Ticking clocks. The forward chime. Time is mine.

Have I an answer? As I wished.

Sit I in sound divine conclusion. I’m certain I should invest this heart.

Notes

I just want to say quickly that too many times we fail to see the relevance of God in relationships. We fail to see that He plays such a major role in it. He is the author of relationships. This poem does not seek to replace man with God or vice versa. Jesus definitely sits in a class of His own. Incomparable. I simply learned that once I make Him the first point of call, His grace changes my perspective. I am no more afraid that my expectations shall not be met by any significant other neither am I held back by the concept of a failed relationship. He constantly refreshes me with what I need to succeed. I seek by His grace to be a giver of what I have received.

The heart of man or woman belongs in no other hands but God’s.

Awaken.

I twirled my hair to tangles yet I could not figure out this time a song to go with the post. Any suggestions please? 🙂

Edit: I got some really great song suggestions which I am updating on this post. Thank you Bervlyn, Yingsongti, Kay O and Phyllis. 😀

 

https://www.deezer.com/us/album/167167212 to listen to Eyes of My Heart by Christ for Youth International.