There’s not a mountain too tall
There’s not a problem too small
That Jesus can’t resolve
In time He’ll get involved
Our God He cares about us

So wait on the Lord
Wait on the Lord
Wait on the Lord
And He’ll renew your strength

There’s not a light too dark
A journey too long to embark
Jesus will see you through
In time He’ll make you new
Our God He cares about us

‘Cause He’s ordering, He’s ordering your strength
You’ve got to wait, you’ve got to wait

• Wait on the Lord – Brandon Wilson

This is what my fiancé said to me, “This has taught me patience.”

The background story?

It was a simple renovation to a small apartment God had blessed my fiancé and I with. Or so it seemed. Our initial plan was to change all the windows and also give all the ceilings in the house a facelift. We wanted to change the ceiling from the original-styled plywood to a Plaster of Paris styled (P.O.P) ceiling.

I once heard someone say that construction work is never within budget. Can that usher over there hand that someone a microphone to repeat it?!!

I am convinced that two things never ever stay within a budget; a wedding and construction project budget. Lol.

The renovation project started small, and the plan was for it to stay small. However, before I could finish sipping my non-alcoholic sparkling wine, the budget for the project grew like a disrespectful forehead pimple that suddenly appears gets bigger when you have a hot date in a few days. No matter how much we sulked, the cost stayed and grew.

The good news is that the ceiling designs we chose for all the rooms including our small hallway were absolutely beautiful designs. But there was bad news as well. By the time the work was done, the ceiling in our hallway like my fiance put it, looked like “a monstrosity”.

Considering how small the hallway was, it looked like the Hulk in Bruce Banner’s clothes after transformation. It looked like “too much” in the small space.

The inflated balloon of our expectation for that hallway design popped so hard it was probably heard in the “multiverse” lol (I need to lay off this Marvel comic imagery). The other rooms had turned out perfectly. We expected that this last part (the hallway) of the project would be the final crowning glory, especially because it was the entry point into the house. But alas! the monstrosity stole our laughter.

I am not throwing my fiancé (now husband) under the bus but he entered into complaint mode. We started exploring all the options to remedy “the fault”. We considered removing the parts of the design from the ceiling that made it look ostentatious. “What do we do?” was the question. We were scared that we would be laughed at. We saw what looked like our dreams of a beautifully decorated place go down the drain. But like the pimple I spoke about, this too we could not remove. So we took comfort in the fact that we would own our mistake and brave it out as hardcore-we-don’t-give-a-hoot-what-you-think gang. lol. But we actually cared. Don’t buy our fake bravado.

Eventually, we just thought to ourselves, “you know what? perhaps the aesthetic was disrupted by the ghastly yellow and black wallpaper on one side of the wall and the wine-painted color on the other part of the walls” – features we intended to change but constituted the final stage of the entire project. So we decided to execute “Plan Mitigate”. We consulted with each other and some interior design blogging sites. We finally decided to go all white for the walls to match the white of the ceiling.

Good news! It turned out fantastic in the end. Once the ceiling lights were fixed, the distracting wallpaper and paint scraped off, and a new rich coat of all white paint applied, Voila! The true beauty of the ceiling popped. It stood there without all the distracting factors and it was a work of art. No more the monstrosity we had initially judged it to be.

Then my fiancé said, “I am so glad we waited. Imagine what we would have lost had we decided too quickly and interfered with the design. THIS HAS TAUGHT ME TO BE PATIENT.”

We learned a big lesson that day.

Anyone can be in such a place in life. In the small hallways of our lives, our issues, problems, projects, dreams and like matters may like the ceiling appear monstrous. They seem to overshadow the entirety of our existence. It can be a person who doesn’t behave the way we want them to. Or a season of pain, hurt, disappointment, and all the craziness of this life. A situation that looks ghastly at the beginning. Often, it becomes all we see.  Yet, the beauty of that situation or person may be obstructed by all the other things happening around us. Unfortunately, we may judge too early. Act too fast. We sometimes act based on the fear of the opinion of others; scared to be laughed at. Sometimes it simply looks bad from certain angles from which we look at it.

But! If you would give it time. Wait. Wait till the end. The diamond in the rough will shine ever brightly. The value of patience is indeed great. Our perspective is oft times the main issue and not what we are facing. We need to consider our perspective.

It is not easy to be patient. Especially in our present world where everything and everyone is on a fast track race. Our perspectives are so limited. We can only see from where we stand. Unfortunately, where we stand is not always perfect. We can make wrong or hurried choices if we do not learn how to wait. The right attitude matters. The right motive matters. The right perspective also matters.

With our humble ailing project, a little bit of patience saved us from a mistake. We managed to avoid a greater destruction. Yet often, the issues of our lives are much more complicated than this ceiling problem. They are the stuff that can make or break us. The stuff that stretch us to our breaking point. And we often want to resort to our own ways to resolve them.

When Abraham moved too quickly, relying on his own ways ahead of God’s time, he made a choice that has had generational impact. He bore a son out of works. He bore a son out of his impatience instead of waiting in faith.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land

Psalm 37:7-9

God wants us to wait. At the place of indecision, wait on Him. Why should we wait on God? First of all, he is not in a hurry. His timing is right. Secondly, he has the right perspective. He decides and designs all things from a position of perfection and so we are assured that we cannot get it wrong with him. We cannot lose when we trust wholly and completely in Him.

We have a perfect example; a perfect man who did not rush. He patiently endured having foresight of the end from the beginning. He already had a clear view of the grand design and the finishing of it. Therefore, He was unperturbed by the agitations happening all around Him. He trusted in His Father in Heaven – wholly and completely. He was unmoved by false accusations or praises. He did not judge by external appearances nor loose sight of what He knew to be the perfect end for Him. That man is Jesus Christ. He was never a step out of time. Every Christian is called to be conformed to His image; to focus on Him and imitate Him.

When He followed God faithfully until the very end, not seeking His own way, He finally declared “It is Finished”. Now His name is exalted above every name, having fulfilled the will of God for Him on the cross.

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You are my hiding place. You always fill my heart with songs of deliverance. Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. Let the weak say I am strong with the strength of the Lord.

Michael Ledner – You Are My Hiding Place

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Matthew 4:1-11 or Luke 4:1-13.

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted there by the devil. ² For forty days and forty nights he fasted and became very hungry. ³ During that time the devil came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become loaves of bread.”
⁴ But Jesus told him, “No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’
⁵ Then the devil took him to the holy city, Jerusalem, to the highest point of the Temple, ⁶ and said, “If you are the Son of God, jump off! For the Scriptures say,‘He will order his angels to protect you. And they will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.’
⁷ Jesus responded, “The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the Lord your God.’
⁸ Next the devil took him to the peak of a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. ⁹ “I will give it all to you,” he said, “if you will kneel down and worship me.”
¹⁰ “Get out of here, Satan,” Jesus told him. “For the Scriptures say, ‘You must worship the Lord your God and serve only him.’
¹¹ Then the devil went away, and angels came and took care of Jesus

As I lay on my bed and mulled this over, I compared the temptation of Jesus with another temptation story in the Bible that some of us may know well. The infamous fall of Adam and Eve (See Genesis 3). For those who do not know the story, satan, disguised as a serpent, deceived Adam and Eve to eat a forbidden fruit God had instructed them not to eat. Therefore, they sinned.

With this background, I decided to explore the two scenarios.

The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:45 that Jesus is the last Adam. The perfect Adam. A life-giving Spirit. I compared these two Adams and their temptations. I have, on one hand, ‘first Adam’. First Adam was living in a beautiful and perfect garden. It had everything good. A beautiful woman (in my opinion, everything God made was good so I believe Eve was beautiful). In the garden, there were trees that produced all kinds of fruit which he could eat to his fill. He was in a fruitful green blossoming garden. Birds chirping. A beautiful breeze. A gentle brook. Colorful swimming fish wiggling their fins. Every kind of animal you can think of living in harmony and eating plants. No predators or prey. Perfection. (See Genesis 2).

Then I take a look at Second Adam (Jesus). He was in the wilderness. Dry, hot, and dusty. Barely any green trees to be seen for miles not to talk of fruits. No pretty birds chirping. No harmless plant-eating wild animals. Rather there were probably those who would readily have him for breakfast, lunch or supper. A blazing hot sun. Buzzing flies and biting bugs. Thorns and thistles. Snakes and scorpions. And hunger. His cousin John had previously been eating locusts from the same wilderness.

These two Adams find themselves in divergent circumstances. One (the first Adam) was in a place of plenty and the other (Jesus) in a place of want. The first was in a very comfortable place, and the other in a place you and I wouldn’t go for a holiday vacation.

We also have a third person in both pictures, “the snake” (the devil), who comes to tempt them. Now, something we need to take note of is that the snake is very deceptive (Genesis 3:1). His job is to twist the true picture of any circumstance as long as it makes God look like the bad guy. He is good at it. We have a multitude of people in the world today who have fallen for that deception. The Bible tells us not to be ignorant of his wiles (2 Corinthians 2:11).

The first Adam had so much! You and I can agree on that. He lived in plenty but in the garden of all that abundance, the snake deceived him so well that he overlooked all the plenty he had. He saw what He did not have. He only saw the one thing he could not have among the others that were readily his to enjoy. This picture was a lie. A fraud. A hoax. The first Adam had God as his father. He had everything because God is the source of everything. Yet God was transformed in first Adam’s eyes. Transformed into a wicked God who did not want to give him the best he deserved. So first Adam believed and accepted the lie and fell from his place of sonship because he trusted in the words of the devil over the word of God. He failed a test that ideally should have been easy to pass.

Now, this crafty serpent again shows up in a completely different scenario and this time around changes his narrative. He doesn’t show up as a lying snake this time. He comes as himself. For forty days he was on ‘Mission Temptation’. For forty days he attempted to get Jesus Christ to repeat the mistake of the first Adam. In his temptations, he tried to make Jesus, the last Adam believe another lie. Using the same modus operandi. The falsehood he was perpetuating was that even though Jesus had the right to plenty, God was making Him live in lack. Therefore, he incited Jesus to do something about the situation. Just as he did in the garden, he again comes with his word (a lie) to challenge the word of God (the truth). Luke 4:1-13.

Satan’s wiles:

a. Why was Jesus hungry from unnecessary fasting when He already had the power to turn stone into bread. I mean God was asking too much wasn’t He?

b. You are the Son of God. Why have you allowed yourself to be limited and belittled as a mere man here? Show God that as His Son you deserve better. you don’t deserve to be treated this way.

c. If your Father won’t give you what you truly deserve, I will. Just turn Your allegiance to me. Make me your god. I have what it takes to make you rule.

These are the same lies he sells to man over and over again and many fall for it.

But where the first Adam failed, the second did not. Where the first Adam was weak, the second was strong. Where the first Adam was deceived, the second Adam untangled the web of lies.

Jesus could see the value of God’s word beyond the present circumstances. That God would not withhold any good thing from him. Because as the Bible says in the same chapter, the Spirit of God led Him to that place of hardship. For Jesus, it was the will of God, and if it was God’s will, then it was good. He saw God’s love and faithfulness in lack and hunger. In a dry place. In a difficult place. He saw a garden of goodness in the word of God which He had heard and absolutely believed. He was sure of His place as the Son of God. He had nothing to prove of Himself except to trust His Father’s word and to do only what the Father had asked Him to do. Where the first Adam chose to live by the bread (the forbidden fruit) rather than the words that had proceeded from God’s mouth, the second Adam made a better, higher choice which set the pace for the redemption of mankind. Redemption towards a place where we can see plenty in the driest wilderness. He established Himself as one who gives life by upholding the truth unconditionally. Where God’s word is enough to sustain us whether we are in plenty or in want. For the word of God is what we need to live.

Jesus made a choice for truth. He believed in God’s word. His circumstances gave Him every reason to doubt, yet He trusted God in spite of it. He overcame the devil by the word of His testimony of who He believed God to be. True about His words.

So dear reader, it is not about plenty or the want. It is not about the circumstances you find yourself in. It is all about whom you believe. There is the truth, and there is the lie. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. He alone knows it, and it is through Him that we know it too. In this world full of falsehoods and deception. We need truth to hang on to. A foundation that does not quiver so that we can build our existence. Just like the two Adams, a choice is always available. And whether we like it or not, it is either truth or lies.

My fervent hope and prayer is that you would choose the one who is able to lead you into all truth. Jesus Christ, the saviour of the world.

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The destination of mortal life is death. Everything else is an experience.

We often find ourselves living with the expectation of a certain destination in this world. For some, it is a dream job. For others, the woman or man of their dreams. Yet again, others, a big project. A business; career; education; children. The list is endless and different for each person.

We are a species of tomorrow. Focused intently on “brighter lights at the end of tunnels”. Focused on what we are yet to achieve.

But you know what? Tomorrow never comes. Wishes and wants do not end. The eyes see. The ears hear. The heart perceives. The hands reach out in desire. Wanting. Wanting. Wanting what is next. Eventually, we become trapped in the rut of tomorrow. And a tomorrow-focused heart misses out on today.

To live with the expectation of a certain destination is not wrong in itself. What we need to understand is that the destination is composed of the actions of today. Then again, we often err on what our true destination is. However, I will not discuss that today.

The greatest man I know (Jesus of course) taught us to pray, “Father, give us today our daily bread”. All we need is bread for today; the important actions we must take today in order to make tomorrow a worthwhile tomorrow.

Life is not promised tomorrow. Our lives can be lost suddenly and in the most unexpected way.

Living “in” today seems myopic, however, we will find that it will bring us the opposite effect of peace, joy, and gratitude. We will value moments we actually are privileged to have. We will learn to value the seconds, minutes, and hours, and with those with which we are presently privileged to enjoy them.

The world teaches us to chase our dreams. The thing about dreams is that you wake up to realize it is all a dream. You were the main character in a sub-plot of the main plot. Completely oblivious to the stage you should actually be on. Behind many faces plastered with smiles of achieving a dream, are realities of sacrifices and costs many will not share but cannot deny they would rather not have made. The world reminds me of the first time I discovered the sign, “For credit, come tomorrow” in front of a shopkeeper’s store, it was such a funny light bulb moment. Because like the world, the shopkeeper never intends to give you credit. You will keep paying today for what you will not have tomorrow.

What we are chasing after is definitely moving away from us and not towards us (Think about it. That is the reason why we are chasing.) By the time the chase is over, we will be an exhausted, sweaty mess. So many things would have whizzed by in a blur as we chased. Whether we would catch, is not guaranteed.

The world shifts so much that nothing is really grasped. The physical is even more elusive than the spiritual.

Imagine that you only had today to live, what would you do differently? How would you give? Into a life in need today or a fat bank account for tomorrow? How would you treat people? Would you forgive the friend that offended you? Would you reconcile with the lover that hurt you? Would you spend time with that person you care for but believe you would see tomorrow? What are you postponing for tomorrow that should be done today?

I was a victim of tomorrow. I lost the last moments of my mom’s life when I said these words, “I will check up on her tomorrow”. I guess I learned…

I am not here as an angel of doom and gloom.

Indeed, it is good to plan. It is great to envision a beautiful future. We can have things we wish to achieve. We may or may not achieve those aspirations. However, by tomorrow, would we be at peace about how we spent today? Our lives really are composed of our yesterdays and today. Tomorrow is elusive. At the end of the road which is (mortal) death, will your life have been spent chasing or living?

Every moment until you take hold of a dream is what we must cherish. For history has proven that a dream, if achieved, is not as satisfying as the journey if we valued the journey. Better even, I wish not to chase a dream. I search for reality. Searching demands a critical acknowledgment and examination of all and everything around me.

I would recommend to you the best reality to search for. That is Jesus Christ. It is only in finding Him that we immediately attain; we continually attain each day with what we have attained and, attain the final and true attainment at the end of mortal life with our first attainment. Beautiful indeed. You can’t lose with Him.

In Him, we learn not to devalue today’s moments in exchange for earthly achievement. He teaches us how to do it.

In Christ, we truly live.

There is always something we want to achieve, pretty soon we realize that the wanting never ends and the stop to it is death. Often, that realization comes too late for many. For the one who receives Jesus Christ, He or she knows that the greatest achievement has already been received. Jesus Christ. The end of mortal life is not an end, but rather, a glorious continuation.

You can assuage the tomorrow syndrome by the realization of the truth of cherishing today. The truth of contentment. This comes from knowing Jesus.

I am so glad that I have achieved the greatest reality this early in my life. I am 30 years today and ecstatic to have spent it with Christ. I am glad and absolutely grateful for today. For this cold morning in Aberdeen. For the opportunity to write this at this very moment while listening to a beautiful song by Jervis Djokoto (I am actually listening to Cece at this moment. I was listening to Jervis during my first edit. Final edit is in silence). I am elated that Jesus loves me today. I am thankful for the people I love and those who love me. I am grateful even for the people who hate me and give me the opportunity to divinely love.

For if I have not tomorrow, today, may I live the best way possible.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEE!!! Hurrrrraaaaayyyy!

Sharing all the music that ministered to me as I wrote this piece.

The post Tomorrow Never Comes. Grateful for Today. first appeared on .

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
But sometimes I wonder what He can do for me
No great success to show, no glory of my own
Yet in my weakness He is there to let me know

His strength is perfect when our strength is gone
He’ll carry us when we can’t carry on
Raised in His power, the weak becomes strong
His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect

My brothers and I nicknamed my dad, Papa Lee, last week among the thousand other nicknames he has lol. This particular one was given him because of his recent fascination with a biography series about the life of Bruce Lee. In case you are a millennial without any clue who Bruce is, this nineties girl will enlighten you in a short Wikipedia history. I actually did not know any of this information until I researched for this article. Lol.

Bruce Lee is a well known name in Hollywood’s hall of fame. For many old school fans of martial arts movies, he is considered the most influential martial artist of all time; developing his own branch of martial arts known as Jeet Kune Do. He was a celebrated movie actor, director, producer, philosopher among other achievements. After a quick read about him, you will like me, conclude that he led a very illustrious life on earth. A quick search online will give you more than enough content to turn this article into a boring or maybe interesting history of a multi talented Chinese/Hong Kong fighter but thankfully, that is not the reason why I’m writing or the reason you are reading this. Lol. So we move.

My brothers and I wondered why my dad was so taken by this particular biography. My dad explained that the character of Bruce was fascinating to him. He described Bruce as an extremely intelligent, focused, talented, arrogant, perfectionist and workaholic who was absolutely brilliant at what he did. I took the time to sit in with my dad in one episode one evening and guess what? It was the last episode. Coincidence or the Holy Spirit? This article is proof of which it is.

In the episode, Bruce blacked out while shooting a movie called, “Enter the Dragon” (name gave me the creeps honestly). I discovered that he had experienced several similar blackouts in previous episodes and these blackouts elongated progressively. According to the doctors in the film, Bruce had by his enthusiasm for martial arts and movie making, stretched his body beyond limit, even to the point where he had no iota of fat in his body. The doctors considered him a walking man of steel (step aside Superman, you’ve got nothing on Bruce). After the diagnosis, following his recent blackout, a recommendation was made to him which we will discuss later in the write-up.

Anyway, right before I fell asleep, the plot of the film reached its climax. Bruce Lee was preparing to act His last movie, “Game of Death” (which also gave me the creeps). I would love to tell you I was awake to catch all the juicy details but I went to La La Land. Later in the night, when I woke and consulted with my dad, I was told death beat Bruce at the game. I was shocked. Bruce was a virile 32 year old with a body of steel before I dozed off. Now he was dead. (well technically he died in 1973). Did he die from an accident? Was he assassinated? Was he poisoned? What caused his death?

No rest.

One crucial thing the doctor told Bruce was that he needed to rest. He needed to allow his body, mind and emotions to take a break, to be treated and to heal. Rest. Although a prescription drug is considered the trigger of the brain edema which killed him, doctors believed it was largely due to a slow unseen breakdown of a system pushed far beyond its limit. He died from lack of rest. And so at a ripe young age of 32, with a final blackout, Bruce expired. Tragic. Avoidable. Yet inevitable.

With this super long introduction, it would be nice to talk about the advantages of taking a long nice vacation to rest on an island just to sip cool coconuts and bask in warm beautiful sunsets. Which is good. But there is a better offer of rest I want to discuss which you can enjoy from the comfort or discomfort of your home (hopefully it is the former).

There are many Bruce Lee Christians. We have embodied religion like steel but we are internally breaking down. Often unbeknownst to us. Unfortunately, the religious machine we rely on will suddenly shutdown because it runs mercilessly without halt. We are doing everything and anything for God. We are playing “the Game of Death- Religion Version.” The spiritual fainting spells and blackouts are warning us that something is off but we have refused to accept what the Doctor is offering. Rest. We are running around feeling superficially strong when our spiritual bodies are clearly protesting the futility of our ways.

On the outside we seem fine. We are clearly doing church. Present in the front seat every Sunday (excluding those reserved for the deacons and elders) even on weekdays and holidays. Singing in the choir. Looking very spiritual. Speaking mighty tongues and lifting holy hands in worship. Fasting 21 days and binding every demon in the milky way. Yet in spite of all these activities, we feel dry. We are sick emotionally, physically and cognitively. We are missing divine realities. We feel at the same time unfulfilled and overwhelmed with life. We cannot seem to grasp the spark of the Faith we so profess. We are aware of how hard we have been trying to live right. We are paying tithe without fail. Eating holy communion. Constantly asking forgiveness for our wrongs. Obeying commandments and fleeing from sin even faster than Joseph run from Potiphar’s tempting wife. Yet still, the spark of our Faith is elusive. We seem strong to the eyes of the world and sometimes even to ourselves. But the yoke of religion is terribly heavy and difficult to pull. Like Bruce, we may suddenly close our eyes and never wake.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matt. 11:28-30

There are many of us Christians that need to revisit this offer from Jesus Christ. Why? Because we have become so lost in our own burdensome works. If you are not a Believer, this offer is also for you.

Hebrews 4 says in verses 9-11, There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from His. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their [disobedient Israel’s] example of disobedience.

Why act “the Game of Death”? When we can take the recommended rest presented freely. This is an eternal vacation we don’t pay a single dime for. We receive a rest so perfect and true. The kind that is not centered on a place but a being. The kind that permeates spirit, soul and body. The kind that secures our existence here, now and forever. Rest in Jesus Christ.

He clearly tells us union with Him will present rest for our souls. So if you are missing rest, if your yoke is heavy and burden thick and weighty, then I prescribe a re-examination of whether you are yoked to Christ. He promises freedom, ease and lightness.

How do we enter this rest? Simply by believing in Him as Savior and Lord of our lives. How do we fully benefit? Understanding and accepting to the fullest extent all of what Christ has done for us. I cannot explain how crucial this gift is. It is the best reality of my entire life. I recommend it to you.

You know, Bruce Lee never accepted the doctor’s recommendation. He was convinced he could keep on in the same direction he had previously been. He did not allow the doctors to treat him. He did not allow his friends and family to convince him. He decided to rest after shooting the Game of Death. But death did the shooting instead. He never got to take the rest avidly advocated by those who cared for him and his health. Some might say he is at rest now. Well, that is to be discovered when this life is no more.

Jesus Christ loves us dearly. It is His desire to give us 100% rest in every nook and cranny of our lives. Time and time again, He proffers this precious gift to anyone who would take a second to listen to Him and another second to accept.

What did the Psalmist say in verse 7 & 8 of chapter 95 and the writer in Hebrews 4? “Today when you hear His voice, do not harden your heart.”

Awaken.

I discovered this song as I wrote this and have had it on repeat. Come to an end of your strength and hook up with the perfect strength. Grace upon grace.

The post Are You Tired? Burned out on religion? first appeared on .

I wonder what to do to keep my heart. What to do to curb a crack. Make no room, perchance a scratch. Emotional investment, returns a loss. I need not sing the “Lonely” song.

How far is too far with the heart? At what point calls a back-up, reverse and turn-tail? How to trust a mere man enough to hand this heart? Must I even? A measure given per a measure received? Give more? To what profit? Perhaps hold back, thus, not disadvantaged?

Too many questions? Yet a lifelong reality I must protect. After all, little less given, little less lost. For history has testified man’s expertise as an unreliable custodian of even a speck of dust. In God alone we can trust. Must I indulge in the foolishness of repeating grim history? Many greats have fallen for such unequal treaties.

But, I may miss out if I never give the full measure. How will I know how far I can throw if I swing not with the fullness of strength? How will I know the depths of the waters if I do not dive? How will I know the expanse of the galaxies if I do not fly? Ball in hand. Safe at shore. Knowing one atmosphere.

I may never know because I quake to hand over my all. The risk is great. The wound is deep. The fall is fatal. But a combination of it all is the lack luster pallor of safety and self preservation. No step of faith, no leap into grace.

The greatest risk, is never knowing possible greatness.

A great loss is possible but also a greater win.

Circles in sight. Turning wheels. Ticking clocks. The forward chime. Time may not be mine.

Have I an answer? A great wish is that.

Yet here I sit and still wondering. Why should I invest my heart?

I wrote this at a confusing period in my life where I tipped the concept of a romantic relationship out the cup of my mind. I have a different story now. Epiphany you might say. Here it goes.

I see not as yet why to invest my heart. For in man no heart is safe at last. His tendency to fail is his unconscious ailment. To place such high demand will yield no supply.

Perhaps my heart belongs elsewhere. The safest account. A trusted manager. His name is Christ. In Him I trust. With Him an investment yields a definite return.

Over and beyond the best expectations. A heart goes in, love comes out. Perfection from heaven. Not a doubt. Enough for me and everyone without.

So I seek not man to invest this heart. I seek man rather to spend the profits of my love. I place no high expectations on any flesh. I rather rely on the place divine.

Thus, disquieted the tables have turned. My question now, have I invested this heart? For where and why my question answered. But whether executed I stand to defend.

The profit of love from my heart’s investment. Freely received for free giving.

What matters then is whom this profit spend? The man deserving or one of naught? One which must receive, this I merit. Christ did lead my love I wholeheartedly accept. My fears begone, no more forlorn. By the horns, brave new world! Here I come.

Failure. Disappointment. Out of the one I may see. Without surprise, I take in stride. My profit be over, exceeding, abundant, beyond the multiple expected debit.

Clarity in sight. Turning wheels. Ticking clocks. The forward chime. Time is mine.

Have I an answer? As I wished.

Sit I in sound divine conclusion. I’m certain I should invest this heart.

Notes

I just want to say quickly that too many times we fail to see the relevance of God in relationships. We fail to see that He plays such a major role in it. He is the author of relationships. This poem does not seek to replace man with God or vice versa. Jesus definitely sits in a class of His own. Incomparable. I simply learned that once I make Him the first point of call, His grace changes my perspective. I am no more afraid that my expectations shall not be met by any significant other neither am I held back by the concept of a failed relationship. He constantly refreshes me with what I need to succeed. I seek by His grace to be a giver of what I have received.

The heart of man or woman belongs in no other hands but God’s.

Awaken.

I twirled my hair to tangles yet I could not figure out this time a song to go with the post. Any suggestions please?

Edit: I got some really great song suggestions which I am updating on this post. Thank you Bervlyn, Yingsongti, Kay O and Phyllis.

https://www.deezer.com/us/album/167167212 to listen to Eyes of My Heart by Christ for Youth International.

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