Sweet mother

I will never forget you

Does time heal wounds?

Perhaps, the belief of the simple.

In the passage of time, the poignant the loss.

The memories, slowly fade away. Flitting in and out of mind’s space.

Time is mercilessly creating a wedge. Twisting scenes out of shape.

I wish to feel close to precious memories. Yet, I am dragged ahead and away.

Stand still a minute!

Time, just for a second, stand still. Let me be close to reminiscence.

Time, slow down. Time, stop!

Do not place your hand of decay on these memories. Do not touch the freshness of thoughts.

I would rather go back and relive the moments. Laughter. Tears. Love. Cheers.

I fruitlessly push back, yet you urge ahead. Unfazed.

I am powerless.

Does time heal wounds?

How? Will time give replacement? Does time have that propensity?

Time is not a friend. It is ever moving forward. Not a second wasted on the mourner, victor, or loser.

Time’s constant mantra. What next?

How can time heal wounds? Can it create new memories of ones lost? Or rather, does it attempt wiping the slate of remembrance? Will this heal or numb?

Time is not on our side. For what we request, takes no effect. Time will not look back.

Never backward. Ever forward.

Time is right on track. Reluctant to undo events of the past. They are to it of no concern.

Does time heal wounds?

Only time will tell. Yet this time, time cannot be trusted.

Have I lost to time? Perhaps it so may seem.

Time can have its course for now. With it I wrestle not.

I will live beyond time! At the time when time is naught.

I will win in the end; when in timeless eternity my mum I meet again.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO EVERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN READING THIS. xoxo

This is a “timeless” anthem for mothers in Africa. It never gets old. We love our mamas!

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Calling me, calling me.

Voices in that far off somewhere calling me
One of these days I’ll off and fly, then I can answer here am I
I hear voices, up in glory, calling me.

The voices.

In my head. Turning my mind around. Tying my stomach in knots. Twirling my focus in circles. Confusing the thoughts of my heart oh…

The voices.

To which do I listen? In which do I believe? Can I ignore the sound of…

The voices?

The ones within? The ones without? Inescapable at every turn. Asleep or awake I cannot deny…

The voices.

A confusing labyrinth of highs and lows. Harsh and mellow. All of sorts. Intertwined in a confusing web of truths and lies and half-truths. Confronted with all..

The voices.

How do I decipher the good from the bad, when there are no clear-cut boundaries in? …

The voices.

An amphetamine to feed the addiction of my indecisiveness; attempting a mental breakdown; further making incoherent the ever-increasing din of…

The voices.

Letter after letter. Word upon word. Consonants and vowels. Note after note. La ti do re mi fa so without melody are…

The voices.

I can’t seem to keep them out. The better won’t sink in. The worse find the hidden crevices into the subconscious. I wish I didn’t have to deal with..

The voices.

But the world is no mute. Each creature its voice. Though some with no sound but still a voice is found.

So rather than hide from…

The voices.

I will sit still. Alone. And listen. I will listen until I hear above the noises. The silent one. He speaks not like anyone. He doesn’t shout. He doesn’t crowd. He whispers in the innermost part of my heart. He will run a fine toothed comb through the messy tresses of my mind and take out the kinks until the strands hang fine. My consciousness at peace. So…

The voices.

I cannot keep at bay. Try as I may. I cannot “unhear” the lies. So with truth I fight by and by. I thank God for…

The voices.

They pushed me toward The Voice of the True One. My Jesus…

Your voice, in spirit I sense. Your whispering provides a fence. The world shall scream till hoarse. But far above the throng. Speak Lord. This heart is Yours.

Awaken.

This one is a very old one I discovered. Made me think of Heaven and being with Jesus. Pay close attention to the words. When we are assured of where we are destined to be. We embrace the voice that calls us home to glory. Enjoy.

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I wonder what to do to keep my heart. What to do to curb a crack. Make no room, perchance a scratch. Emotional investment, returns a loss. I need not sing the “Lonely” song.

How far is too far with the heart? At what point calls a back-up, reverse and turn-tail? How to trust a mere man enough to hand this heart? Must I even? A measure given per a measure received? Give more? To what profit? Perhaps hold back, thus, not disadvantaged?

Too many questions? Yet a lifelong reality I must protect. After all, little less given, little less lost. For history has testified man’s expertise as an unreliable custodian of even a speck of dust. In God alone we can trust. Must I indulge in the foolishness of repeating grim history? Many greats have fallen for such unequal treaties.

But, I may miss out if I never give the full measure. How will I know how far I can throw if I swing not with the fullness of strength? How will I know the depths of the waters if I do not dive? How will I know the expanse of the galaxies if I do not fly? Ball in hand. Safe at shore. Knowing one atmosphere.

I may never know because I quake to hand over my all. The risk is great. The wound is deep. The fall is fatal. But a combination of it all is the lack luster pallor of safety and self preservation. No step of faith, no leap into grace.

The greatest risk, is never knowing possible greatness.

A great loss is possible but also a greater win.

Circles in sight. Turning wheels. Ticking clocks. The forward chime. Time may not be mine.

Have I an answer? A great wish is that.

Yet here I sit and still wondering. Why should I invest my heart?

I wrote this at a confusing period in my life where I tipped the concept of a romantic relationship out the cup of my mind. I have a different story now. Epiphany you might say. Here it goes.

I see not as yet why to invest my heart. For in man no heart is safe at last. His tendency to fail is his unconscious ailment. To place such high demand will yield no supply.

Perhaps my heart belongs elsewhere. The safest account. A trusted manager. His name is Christ. In Him I trust. With Him an investment yields a definite return.

Over and beyond the best expectations. A heart goes in, love comes out. Perfection from heaven. Not a doubt. Enough for me and everyone without.

So I seek not man to invest this heart. I seek man rather to spend the profits of my love. I place no high expectations on any flesh. I rather rely on the place divine.

Thus, disquieted the tables have turned. My question now, have I invested this heart? For where and why my question answered. But whether executed I stand to defend.

The profit of love from my heart’s investment. Freely received for free giving.

What matters then is whom this profit spend? The man deserving or one of naught? One which must receive, this I merit. Christ did lead my love I wholeheartedly accept. My fears begone, no more forlorn. By the horns, brave new world! Here I come.

Failure. Disappointment. Out of the one I may see. Without surprise, I take in stride. My profit be over, exceeding, abundant, beyond the multiple expected debit.

Clarity in sight. Turning wheels. Ticking clocks. The forward chime. Time is mine.

Have I an answer? As I wished.

Sit I in sound divine conclusion. I’m certain I should invest this heart.

Notes

I just want to say quickly that too many times we fail to see the relevance of God in relationships. We fail to see that He plays such a major role in it. He is the author of relationships. This poem does not seek to replace man with God or vice versa. Jesus definitely sits in a class of His own. Incomparable. I simply learned that once I make Him the first point of call, His grace changes my perspective. I am no more afraid that my expectations shall not be met by any significant other neither am I held back by the concept of a failed relationship. He constantly refreshes me with what I need to succeed. I seek by His grace to be a giver of what I have received.

The heart of man or woman belongs in no other hands but God’s.

Awaken.

I twirled my hair to tangles yet I could not figure out this time a song to go with the post. Any suggestions please?

Edit: I got some really great song suggestions which I am updating on this post. Thank you Bervlyn, Yingsongti, Kay O and Phyllis.

https://www.deezer.com/us/album/167167212 to listen to Eyes of My Heart by Christ for Youth International.

The post The Heart Investment (…the dilemma of making one of life’s crucial decisions) first appeared on .

And the sky begins to thunder
And I’m filled with awe and wonder
‘Til the only burning question that remains is
Who am I?

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

Immortality.  Who wants to live forever? No. Rather; who wants not to live forever?

Allow me add chapter 13 to Ecclesiastes. Mind you,  it has 12 chapters only, but I hereby request your indulgence.

Alright. My Solomon hat is on. Let me grab my papyrus, my quill, my ink, my think and let us philosophize…

I looked under the sun and observed. “Behold! Man wishes not to die but his breath should linger on forever.”

The rich, the poor. The old, the young. The men, the women. The strong, the weak. The beauties and the beasts. The healthy, the sick. The wise, the foolish. All wish to relish the never-ending cycle of the sands of the hour glass.

For hope calls their hearts to yearn for added time. The extra chyme, chance for change.

Or there lies perhaps higher thought for the thirst to live on.

Turn backward the dial of time. Ages beyond the years 2000 until the Genesis chapter one. For then, God created the heavens and the earth. The birds of the air, the moon, the sun and His son Adam.

To live on, this son was destined. He breathed the life of the Eternal God. Simultaneously they lived, they breathed, they talked, they walked. Together as one. A holy bond.

Man’s make up was designed to fit the eternal agenda. Fellowship forever. The mark of true immortality.

‘Til the fall. Man lost all. Fellowship broken. Death’s mouth open.

Mortal generation on generation swallowed whole. To the ends of the earth. To the depths of the sea. To heights of the galaxies. The scythe grimly reaped.

Though man’s frame was fervent to inhale, quietus stole last breaths away. Left to decay. Earth to shell. Soul dispelled .

Forward again looked I under the sun. I observed the Son of God cry, “It is finished”. Death swallowed in life to reconstruct the DNA of man.

So said my soul within me, “At last! We decay no more,  Our bodies to corruption no more. Our flesh to dust no more. For great is the battle just won. Our breath is ours and so the hours.”

But alas I was wrong. Thereafter, I saw men born and the buried mourned.

Questions! Within my heart were questions. What is death? Is it to lose the mortal breath? What is immortality? Is it to keep the mortal air?

Aye and nay.

For I observed beyond the sun that true death is eternal separation from the Eternal God. Mortality, the symptom of effect.

Man is not the vessel but the soul within. Live on he shall. When this breath is lost. Man’s thirst for immortality shall surely be quenched. Yet, shall some thirst again and others forever refreshed.

True death in man is eternal damnation. On earth is but a dead man in motion. But able to change the path of a preexisting destiny. To bide time is not to negate the reality.

This mortality, we must shed. Life beyond, is our end. To what end, we have choice. And for this choice, the Son forfeit His life.

Our greatest desire need be not to remain, but to reconnect to our true selves found in the Eternal God. Seek not time in extra to abide on earth, seek ye rather the right choice to set your eternity in order.

Again looked I under the radiant sun. With a sigh finally I concluded in sum. The lot of man is not to live and die, but rather to live forever immortal.

Yet to what end is your end? Soul immortal. Yet to what end?

One of my childhood favorites. Enjoy this one.

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How shall I begin to speak about a God that I will never comprehend. So high and mighty and yet closer than a friend.

The Beginning and the End. The mystery of His Holiness, the wonder of His Humanness are one and same.

One and the same. I can’t do Him justice with any one name.

The Holy God of heaven and the Humble Man who bore my shame are one and the same.

How can I begin to speak about a man that I will never comprehend. How can I begin to speak about a God I can never intellect.
How do I begin to describe a love I can never articulate.
How can I begin to understand a sacrifice I could never anticipate.
My Future and my Hope.

That Man Jesus Christ.

The world was made through Him. My world revolves around Him.
He is my way In and my way out.
My day and my night.
My dawn and my dusk
My morning, noon and night.
My darkness and my light. Cause no darkness is found in Him. My complete delight.

He’s my sunshine and my rain.
The reason I am sane
My earth and my sky.
My moon and my stars.
In the firmament; He has filled my skies.

That Man Jesus Christ.

He’s my wind and my calm.
The tempest that upturns the ship of my life, and the calm that sets my sails right.
My up and my down.
He’s my going and my coming
My heaven and my earth.
He’s my world.
My TOTAL EXISTENCE.

He’s my body, soul and spirit.
My life, my heart, my mind.
He’s my dream, my vision, my mission.
My fantasy and my reality
He’s what my whole existence comes down to.

I can’t do without Him,
I can’t be without Him,
I can’t live without Him.
I don’t want to exist apart from Him.

That Man Jesus Christ.

He’s seen my crazy and my calm.
My foolish and my wise.
My highs and my lows.
My bigs and smalls.
He’s righted my wrongs
Calmed my storms
My success and failures
My love and my heartbreak.
He’s felt them all.

You know, He’s the air I breathe
The song I sing
My daily litany
Be still my heart

He’s the step I take.
Every move I make.
My purpose and my destiny
The very fiber of my being.
Scientifically proven and true.
My heart may just burst not from how much I love Him, but more so from how much He loves me that I cannot even begin to love Him back.
I cannot fathom what it means to love like Him; and to be loved by Him. The length, breath, height and depth. The very measure of His love, how can I have all that to myself.
I cannot even be greedy enough.

Am I into a figment of my imagination? Does there exist such a man who is perfect and flawless? Only in heaven. Only God can be that perfect.
That God, Jesus Christ.
Solely in my heart can I cherish such splendor without guilt and owe no man but my God.

Who can separate me from this treasure that I’ve found in earthen vessel.
Who can come between us?
Who can snatch me from His arms?
What can I do that could make Him abandon me or stop loving me? Nothing.
How do I take my life out of my life cause He is my life.
We are one and the same. I in Him, He in me. Hidden in our perfect love. Intricately intertwined. We are truly inseparable. A match made in heaven.

I’m talking about Mine. I am His and He is mine. My love story.
My life’s only glory. My beloved is mine and I belong to Him. His loves covers me. Oh, I am in love with Him.
I am in love with Perfection.

That Man Jesus Christ.

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